Allday's Guide To Being Vegan on Tour
Hailing from Adelaide, Australia, the rapper Allday is gearing to up to tour The States next month, including a stop at The Subterranean in Chicago. During this tour, Allday will be performing songs from his sophomore album, Speeding, which features Japanese Wallpaper and Mallrat as collaborators. While he gets ready for tour, Allday put together a vegan tour guide to show his fans how he manages to keep up with his meat-free and cruelty-free diet on the road.
To be vegan on tour is slightly harder than to be vegan not on tour. Because sometimes you end up in places where the concept of not eating animal stuff completely foreign and even offensive (blame meat & dairy industry propaganda). Truck stops in the middle of nowhere and small towns can be vegan heartbreakers. But there's always SOMETHING to eat. And if there is something vegan, we will sniff it out. You may end up eating something not delicious, but you will never go hungry.
DISCLAIMER: I haven't toured that much in the U.S.A yet, but I've done it a lot in Australia so I'm hoping some of these things are universal.
First things first:
Before you get in your tour vehicle, go to a damn supermarket and buy some nuts. Nuts are perfect for long drives because they kinda suck so you need to be very hungry to enjoy them. Maybe also buy... some fruit? "But Allday I don't like fruit!" Yes you do. Eat some fucking fruit. Fruit and nuts can last you at least 8 or 10 hours, by that time you'll be in another city and you can eat some actual food. Don't complain, some people are really starving. Don't buy any Gatorade or any of that poison, you're not a 12 year old Xbox player.
Now your first day of driving is over.
You're in a "buttfuck nowhere" town. There is nowhere vegan to eat (this rarely happens but it is possible). What type of kitchen do you have in your hotel room? Is there a stove or a microwave? If yes, go to option 1. If no go to option 2.
1. We have a kitchen! How grand. Now we find a supermarket or a convenience store. If a supermarket is open you can go Gordon Ramsay on 'em and make something gour-met. But it's probably late and there's only a convenience store open. Go to the freezer at the back. There should be some spring rolls or wedges or something. I don't need to tell you to read the labels carefully because companies are addicted to putting "Milk Solids" and "Fish Sauce" in things. Your meal is going to suck. Sorry. Open a window in your room so it doesn't smell like soy sauce.
2. Your hotel room doesn't have a kitchen. What the fuck. You should trash this place. But you're too hungry. Use your last iota of strength to crawl down to the nearest strip of take out restaurants. Ignore McDonalds and all that poison. Your best bet is somewhere Asian or Indian. Yes I realize India is in Asia. Go in there and question them heavily about vegan options. "What is vegan?" "Vegan means no animal products at all, so no dairy, egg, no fish sauce or anything like that." "Our Eggplant Curry would be vegan." "Can you check with the chef?" "Sure."
5 minutes passes, the man waiting for his Butter Chicken will is judging you but he's not woke like you, so it doesn't matter. The cashier returns with good news "It is vegan."
"I'll have one of those please!!!"
You made it through day 1 on tour, you beautiful compassionate vegan angel.
(P.S never feel bad about questioning people about vegan options, once someone does it, it makes it easier for the next person, you are a pioneer.)
Wow it's your lucky day, tonight we are arriving in a big city with lots of vegan restaurants (because I'm making this tour route up so why not). But before that, go to a supermarket again. Nuts, fruit, water. Avocado and tortilla chips? Hummus and carrots? "No that's too healthy." Ok fine.
Here's an idea, buy:
- Hotdog rolls
- Peanut Butter
- Jam (Americans you call it Jelly)
- You should have stolen a butter knife from your hotel, but if not, buy one
Method: Spread PB&J on the hotdog rolls, then peel your bananas and insert them into the rolls. PB&J + Banana Hot Dogs.
By the time you get hungry again after your hotdogs, you will arrive in a city with lots of vegetarian/vegan restaurants. A good app/website to find these places is Happy Cow. Go out to dinner with your touring party and eat some nourishing food, then blow the audience's socks off with your gig later. "Wow *insert your name here* really had a beautiful glow up on stage tonight!"
Basically repeat all the things I've been saying so far until your music is no longer profitable and you have to go be a janitor.
P.S For when you're stoned/self loathing/lazy, lots of truck stop junk food is accidentally vegan, things like:
- Some pop tarts
- Mostly all original chips and some funky flavours too
- Certain dark chocolates
If you're already vegan, this is probably the most inane thing you've ever read. But if you're just starting, maybe it will help.
Yours always in animal-leaving-alone,